*trying to do better posts after a tester complained they couldn't undo one of their stars* Are you telling me a guy named Larry made this crown

There is now a Go airline

https://www.mirthturtle.com/airline

AI isn't gonna take my job... I'm perfectly capable of torpedoing my career myself, and also technically I'm unemployed already

Fishing reality shows are great if you want to see two tons of fish die and some asshole who's emotionally abusive to his employees being like “That's what i'm TALKIN about BABY”

Attempting to change my personality by watching Suits at max volume and yelling “You should have come to me first!” along with the named partners

Soon

Taking “vacation” this week by only playing the most boring computer games and not thinking about terrifying AI

Pulping up and re-constituting all my unsuccessful Mastodon accounts into Mirth Turtle Social like a questionable luncheon loaf

Sorry about all this. I was never in indie bands when I was younger so I didn't get a lot of bullshit out of my system

I'd appreciate if no one shares any posts because I really don't have the mental energy to go viral right now

Up early to launch Mirth Turtle Social! Oh wait it's almost noon

Uh oh, I've spent too much time working on this frivolous website and zero time on TAX PREPARATION

We don't talk enough about the unprecedented international scale of Daphne and Celeste's bullying

Piano teachers should sit INSIDE the piano

I was enjoying a break from posting but I have just been INFORMED that secret backroom SHIT is going on at the highest levels of POWER

*person who just spent USD$34,700 on a new SUV* Awww yes, can't wait to take some right turns a little too fast! Out of my wayyy haha... yeah if I brake for even a second, I'm burning GAS which TRUDEAU etc

*at the SUV store* I need something that weighs more than all my other possessions combined... preferably with a little TV inside to ruin my children? Also can I get a pedestrian-killer on the front. Sure, $34,700 seems reasonable

Chopping up potato and accidentally dropping a piece on the floor, call that pomme de terre

Are you depressed? or did your screen brightness just turn itself down five hours ago and you didn't notice

Something I miss about working in downtown Halifax is all the vacant offices... I could take calls or fall asleep in sunbeams

Hearing an Ed Sheeran song and getting confused because my social life has been obliterated by the pandemic and I forgot you can just ask people in bars if they want to have sex

FUcking screaming “I AM ” at the owl city concert when he's like, “I am won-der-ing if you are down, to get down, as well”

The only “woke mind virus” Iiii've got is whatever compels me to play Go to the detriment of other aspects of my life

I'm glad we don't have to say privacy policies out loud in order to agree to them. “SPEAK THE WORDS” Ooooookay let me just find a quiet room and a full hour