Maybe there's a better way to market this company than thrashing potential customers on the Go server

Does anyone else do “biscuits” on the ottoman like a cat to stretch out your upper back

*doing some financial planning* OK so I need my portfolio to double in the next three days

If I were ever on a weeks-long villa-based reality show I don't think I'd be emotionally manipulated by the producers' tricks

*things get bad again* OK it's time to bring back the sticker book. Let's get some dolphins on the day planner

I don't think I could ever be in a D&D-style “party” like I need too much alone time to be around 4 other people constantly

Thinkng of doing a Fyre Fest type event where a bunch of Go players travel to my half-acre of swampy forest for a rustic Go retreat except it's winter and they have to chop all the wood

Finance guys are like, “if it goes to $9.50, it could hit $10 after that... but if it goes down to $8.50, we could be looking at $8”

I love the NSFW tag on reddit, like the boss would prefer you waste company time watching wholesome r/OddlySatisfying content

Watching Untraceable with the boys and doing airhorns when Colin Hanks gets tortured

Thinking of reaching out to an ambitious former coworker and posing as a reporter from Baller Magazine

Waiting for the next person to call me a tall drink of water so I can say, “and Ice Cold as well”

I'm playing corporation games like that annoying man spoke of. And LOSING

Don't tell the stores this but I would pay at least twice what they charge for butter

Accidentally got honey on the cat

The sushi place gave me an extra salmon roll and I got paranoid they were trying to fatten me up and/or launder money by padding expenses in conjunction with their cash discount scheme

Yeah, I don't think I have the personality type to be a fierce, Stringer Bell-type street-level enforcer *a VC comes within earshot* I mean I DEFINITELY have the personality type to

Thinking of turning Mirth Turtle into a lifestyle brand by photographing a bunch of hot people wearing my merch while they hold cats

It took almost nine hours but we crossed the Pacific in the Go plane

https://mirthturtle.com/airline

ME: hmm I could treat myself to a game of Noita to relax and have fun MY BRAIN: oh you'd like that, wouldn't you

Trying to refer to my office as “the command center” so I'm more inclined to make money there instead of playing Noita

Charlie looks peaceful here but later he got himself stuck behind an armchair

Sometimes if the computer takes an extra long time to do something, I'm like, “Computer!!”