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Mirth Turtle Mirth Turtle Social

Finance guys are like, β€œif it goes to $9.50, it could hit $10 after that... but if it goes down to $8.50, we could be looking at $8”

I love the NSFW tag on reddit, like the boss would prefer you waste company time watching wholesome r/OddlySatisfying content

Watching Untraceable with the boys and doing airhorns when Colin Hanks gets tortured

Thinking of reaching out to an ambitious former coworker and posing as a reporter from Baller Magazine

Waiting for the next person to call me a tall drink of water so I can say, β€œand Ice Cold as well”

I'm playing corporation games like that annoying man spoke of. And LOSING

Don't tell the stores this but I would pay at least twice what they charge for butter

Accidentally got honey on the cat

The sushi place gave me an extra salmon roll and I got paranoid they were trying to fatten me up and/or launder money by padding expenses in conjunction with their cash discount scheme

Yeah, I don't think I have the personality type to be a fierce, Stringer Bell-type street-level enforcer *a VC comes within earshot* I mean I DEFINITELY have the personality type to

Thinking of turning Mirth Turtle into a lifestyle brand by photographing a bunch of hot people wearing my merch while they hold cats

It took almost nine hours but we crossed the Pacific in the Go plane

https://mirthturtle.com/airline

Air Mirth One – Premier Go Airline

ME: hmm I could treat myself to a game of Noita to relax and have fun MY BRAIN: oh you'd like that, wouldn't you

Trying to refer to my office as β€œthe command center” so I'm more inclined to make money there instead of playing Noita

Charlie looks peaceful here but later he got himself stuck behind an armchair

Charlie wearing a cone and sleeping in the sun

*putting on my... πŸ”’ Unlock

Sometimes if the computer takes an extra long time to do something, I'm like, β€œComputer!!”

Watching a JUUL documentary and getting depressed that I wasn't cool enough to JUUL when Mango was available

If Jigsaw ever put me in a trap device as a cruel lesson, it would probably be related to my egg nog consumption

*handpicking the MOD files for this jukebox* Ah, I'm like a modern day Zach Braff

https://mirthturtle.com/modpill

Modpill - Focus music

Got a new haircut and the salon promptly went out of business

Charlie sniffs my face as I steal his good light

A Charlie deluge

He judges you. Charlie caught in the act of being cute. Charlie hides his face while he sleeps.

Got @playerprophet to do an edit-through of Ghostcrime for a revised edition and all her notes are like, β€œdon't capitalize Crime” β€œdon't capitalize Feelings Van”

*becoming normalcore* can you believe THIS is the quality of video I am getting for $14.99 a month I mean COME ON *posts screencap of a movie where a scary doll is killing people*

Love to make software you can use while driving

A bingo card about why I don't like mobile app development.