ME: hmm I could treat myself to a game of Noita to relax and have fun MY BRAIN: oh you'd like that, wouldn't you

Trying to refer to my office as “the command center” so I'm more inclined to make money there instead of playing Noita

Charlie looks peaceful here but later he got himself stuck behind an armchair

Sometimes if the computer takes an extra long time to do something, I'm like, “Computer!!”

Watching a JUUL documentary and getting depressed that I wasn't cool enough to JUUL when Mango was available

If Jigsaw ever put me in a trap device as a cruel lesson, it would probably be related to my egg nog consumption

*handpicking the MOD files for this jukebox* Ah, I'm like a modern day Zach Braff

https://github.com/sourcetortoise/modpill

Got a new haircut and the salon promptly went out of business

A Charlie deluge

Got @playerprophet to do an edit-through of Ghostcrime for a revised edition and all her notes are like, “don't capitalize Crime” “don't capitalize Feelings Van”

https://mirthturtle.com/ghostcrime

*becoming normalcore* can you believe THIS is the quality of video I am getting for $14.99 a month I mean COME ON *posts screencap of a movie where a scary doll is killing people*

Love to make software you can use while driving

One day they're gonna find out all the elementary particles are Go positions and my psychoses will be vindicated

They waited to restore power until after I'd had my tap water instant coffee

Power's been out all day and I hope the province is going to reimburse me for all the tea lights I'm burning. They're the fucking BEESWAX ONES

MERCH Turtle!? Indeed, you can now buy branded goods:

https://streamlabs.com/mirthturtle/merch

Ruining Happy Hour by asking if instead of 25%-off mozza sticks I can have 1.33333333333x more

*watching a streamer play The Long Dark* SEARCH IT. SEARCH THE DESK

Not to be a downer but in ten years all the “I don't want to wear a mask” people are going to be “I don't want to grind my food through the microplastics sifter” people

The most obvious example of extraterrestrials infiltrating human corporations would have to be GlaxoSmithKline

Thinking of asking my cool modest friend if I can namedrop them in a conversation

Being all “~~daddy like~~” every time I see something that uses e-ink technology